SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Vodka?
Forever.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
