I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
