need another drink. this is the easiest way
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
