I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
is that a dick in a sweater?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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