My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
