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I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
