Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Randomize
