my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
where does the pee come out of this thing
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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