He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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