im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
