Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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