I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
