i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
