I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
