I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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