nut hugger
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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