Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
