Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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