Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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