btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
