We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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