he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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