the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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