started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
