For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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