spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
