Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Too much gin, very little bucket
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
