Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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