I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
