shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
