playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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