i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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