Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it