His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here