I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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