Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
