I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
