he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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