Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize