i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
