I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
