yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
