who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
