Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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