What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
