it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Vodka?
Forever.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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