I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
