Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
