She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
