That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
