This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
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this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
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All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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