and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
