dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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