Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
