the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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