she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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