i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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