remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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