wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
