She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
