Non-Jews are for practice
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
