Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
