Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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