how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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