if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
