i barfeds in our rink
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
