I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
