I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize