Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
