WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He shit in the fireplace
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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