We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
