I just saw a hot homeless man
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
