i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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