the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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