yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
